Moving On

It is so exciting to be a grown up in love!
Everything is so different. I know myself so much better then when I was younger and really believed that everything myself included was going to unfold exactly the way that I wanted it to. We really believe that until we are faced with enough opportunities in life to explore, discover and reveal our true strengths and weaknesses and to learn where we can and cannot compromise in life and with others.

We are forced to face the facts that we do not always respond as we might hope we would. We must come to terms with our own wounds and sense of controlling outcomes to be secure enough to allow our partner to be a whole and complete person, capable of their own hopes, dreams, crushes, shortcomings, and bitchy moments just as much as we ourselves are. We must come to a place of self worth and compassion, that extends to really allow another to be all of who they are, even in relation to our selves.Even in ways that may not make sense to our views of the world and reality. We must find an inner sense of peace with that before we are ready to move into that place that zone. We must really experience for ourselves and KNOW what our values and priorities REALLY are,as opposed to what it is we WANT them to be when presenting ourselves to others. Sometimes this can surprise even us.

But then we grow, our boundaries may increase, but our rules become less rigid, and our compassion expands to include those we may have once excluded. Our hearts DO heal, and then they grow. And somehow this allows us to LOVE (not NEED) more completely while being less injured by another. We become complete within ourselves, and no longer need another to complete us. When that happens, we learn to ask for what we want, and to let go of outcomes. We begin to enjoy the ride, the journey for what it is focused on what we can give to make it even better, INSTEAD of solely on what we are GETTING from the other person. We begin to have more FUN in our relationships, and a lot less drama. How awesome is that?

We no longer judge what is appropriate in the progression of our relationships by a time clock. We have learned to listen to and trust our friends about how healthy our relationships seems for us,and we have learned that drama and danger and excitement do not make up for or create, or replace passion. We learn that true passion can creep in quietly, when we least expect it, and that it rarely comes with the flashiest car, or perkiest tits. We learn that what glitters isn't gold, and that inner peace grows hand in hand with passion, self esteem, and healthy communication with the right person.

If we are lucky, we learn all of this while we are young and agile enough to earn the rewards and to practice the very fulfilling reality of these lessons. How do we know? Its NOT whomever gives you the thrill chills kids. Any great smelling, ladies man, mans man, girl about town, can do that. Its that diamond in the rough, the one who is there to hold your hand afterwords, and is dedicated they are to your overall well being -outside of bed, that will ultimately thrill you the most in bed, and it gets better over time instead of fizzling out. I promise. So be strong, enjoy the scenery, but define inside of yourself what you really WANT with out judging or condemning it.

Do you want a lot of sexual conquests? Do you want a real relationship with a fully independent, freely thinking partner that has their own opinions about how things ought to be? Do you want a companion that is like a puppet and does everything your way the way you want it? Don't condemn yourself for these ideas or choices, just explore them. Ultimately just be honest with yourself, and willing to accept the consequences that come with any choice and you will find it. I have.